Catgirl Gets Thrown in Jail
by Jasmine Scarthing
Summary: Catgirl has seen lots of strange things in her adventurous life. But what she sees today is so weird, it makes the Joker look normal. A two shot parody. Warning: Logic is nonexistent in this fanfic. Rated T for cursing. A Dark Knight AU.
1. Total Randomness

_A/N: Hi, guys! So this is a parody. Expect no amounts of logic or seriousness in this._

_I would tell you what to expect, but that that would be a spoiler._

_This fic is a sneak peek of 'The Dark Feline', but it's a parody, so don't take it TOO seriously. _

_Enjoy!_

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**Annie's** **POV**

My eyes darted around the narrows, searching for criminals who needed a lesson taught to them by yours truly.

I pulled out a makeup compact, because it was completely logical to apply foundation to seduce a guy over twice your age while people were dying. Right?

And it was completely and utterly logical to be able to carry makeup in a suit with no pockets. Right?

I was applying foundation when somebody grabbed my arms and handcuffed them together.

"Huh?" I choked out. I looked down to see two...kids?... step out of the darkness of the narrows. One was a boy, the other a girl. They looked not more than ten years old.

"Who are you people?" I snapped. "You have no right to randomly handcuff me!"

"Actually, we do. We are the official GKH league," the boy said calmly.

"That stands for the Gotham Kid Heroes League," the girl piped up.

"Catgirl, you were a hero before us, and beat up all the good mobsters," the boy said.

Good mobsters? Wasn't that an oxymoron?

"Therefore, after much deliberation, we have decided that you are under arrest for existing," the boy continued, as if that was totally reasonable.

"What the heck? Are you serious? You're not even real cops!" I screamed. "What am I supposed to do, die?"

"No," said the girl. "This is parody fanfiction. Logic is nonexistent."

Huh? Parody fan fiction? Oh, boy.

Then I got an idea.

"So if logic doesn't exist," I said carefully, "I could knock you both out and throw pies in your faces while wearing handcuffs?"

"Sure," the boy said. Then he gulped. "Oh, boy."

Since logic didn't exist, I knocked the kids out, threw cream pies which randomly fell out of the sky in their faces, and ran away.

Suddenly, they got up, looking perfect and clean, even though they'd been knocked unconscious, and dragged me away.

And then suddenly Ra's al Ghul came and fired nuclear lasers at us, even though he'd been dead for two years. And we somehow weren't injured at all.

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**A/N: If you thought that was funny, hooray! If you did not, I'm really sorry. The next chapter will be funnier, I hope. **

**So this was just me getting into parodies. As you can see, there will be lots of randomness and no logic. Enjoy :)**


	2. Total Randomness Part 2

The kids, who were dressed as heroes(duh), dragged me to a big building.

"This is the jail for people who were heroes or villains before us," they explained. Because of course, it was completely fine to throw a random guy or girl in jail solely because they came before you. Yeah, totally acceptable to do that. Right?

I hoped not.

They pushed me through the door and into a big, dark building. It smelled like trash and dirt, and...shaving cream?

Curious, I stepped forward to see...Harvey Dent? Half his face was burnt, and he was...shaving?

"Harvey! You're alive?" I sputtered, trying to process all this in my brain.

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?" he said crossly. He whirled to face me. He pulled out a coin. "Heads...you live. Tails...you die."

"If he flips the coin at all," a gleeful voice said, "you get a cream pie in your pretty face, beautiful!" I turned to see the Joker locked in a cage with a bucket full of cream pies beside him.

"What are you doing here?" I snapped. "I despise you, you ungrateful, cynical clown."

"Why so serious?" the Joker drawled. "You _really_ need to learn to have some _fun_."

"Shut up, the both of you!" Harvey barked. I immediately did so, and even the Joker fell silent.

"Okay, now I flip the coin," Harvey Dent said dangerously. "Heads or tails? Your pick, Annie."

"Wait, flipping coins is supposed to be a matter of chance!" I protested. "And how do you know my name, dammit?"

* * *

"Catgirl, we've all known who you truly are for two years," a familiar raspy voice growled.

* * *

"Batman?" I exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"Don't ask," he groaned loudly. "Those crazy kids arrested me for being a superhero before them."

"That happened to me, too!" I said, relieved that I wasn't the only one going through this. I looked around. Oh, wait...

"And they arrested me for blowing up buildings!" the Joker chimed in.

"Yep, that wasn't well-deserved at all," I retorted sarcastically.

"Nooo!" the Joker cackled. "You don't understand, cutie. See, these _kids_ said that I wasn't supposed to blow up hospitals or do anything fun, you see, until after they became heroes, or whatever they did when Mommy wasn't watching. So then they threw me in this stinky jail, where that guy"-he gestured to Harvey Dent-"never lets anybody get any sleep because of his unsureness as to his identity."

"Hey!" Harvey snapped. "At least I actually know how my face got burnt! You have three different backstories for your damn scars!"

"Now, now, children, play nice." I turned to see a guy in a spidery mask with a rough, breathy voice.

"Who..." I choked out.

"I am the one who will fulfill Ra's al Ghul's destiny!" he declared.

"Lose the excess formality, Bane," Batman said gruffly.

"Bane?" What the hell was this?

"Ah, you think the darkness is your ally," Bane rasped.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Harvey shrieked at the top of his lungs. Everybody shut up. Even Bane.

"Now, I will flip the coin," said Harvey. He tossed it in the air, then caught it. He looked at it.

After moments of excruciating suspense, he said, "Heads. You live."

Before I could celebrate, the Joker smashed a pie in my face.

Ready to blow up at somebody, I angrily wiped the cream off my face.

"Ha-ha! You should've seen the look on your face!" he giggled.

Then the kids came back after having mysteriously disappeared and dragged the Joker off.

"Good riddance," I muttered.

Then I heard a _squish_ noise.

I looked to see that each and every person here had picked up a cream pie. And they were all aiming at me.

"Oh, crap," I whispered.

_Splat_! Yellow, sticky cream got all over me. It was quite good, though, and I ended up sneaking a leftover pie to eat.

After I took three consecutive showers in the crappy bathroom to get that damn cream off me, that is.

**The** **End**

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_A/N: So yeah, that's the end! *cries* Oh, well. I'm still working on 'Catgirl Begins', so don't worry! _

_And Annie cusses because she's fourteen in this fic and has started using profanity. Not a lot, though. Just 'damn', 'hell', and 'crap'. And 'bastard'._


End file.
